In Order To Go Forward, Sometimes You Need To Go Back

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The further I go down this showjumping career path, the more I realize there is to learn and the more work there is to be done. I am a very goal orientated person and work hard to make these goals a reality but sometimes I can find myself so far down a beaten track that when I finally lift my gaze to where I am, I find that I have ended up somewhere quite far away from where I had planned to be. 

What I mean is that I follow one trend or one opinion (usually being ignorant of other ways of doing things), give it everything I have and often find myself not that much better off than where I started. That's where the need to begin again comes in. When I reach this realization, that I am not where I am supposed to be in life or in my training methods, I can either pretend I know what I'm doing and keep forging ahead even when I know the track leads in the opposite direction of where I want to go, (a huge mistake that sees too many people so stuck in their ways that they are not open to learning more), OR I can admit to myself that enough's enough and that I have gone wrong, that where I have ended up is not where I am supposed to be. That it is time to call it quits and go back to the beginning and start again, this time on a new path, in a new direction.

To do this, often means that you have to acknowledge the fact that you have spent hours, weeks, months and sometimes even years pursuing something that didn't take you where you had hoped to get. This has happened many times in my career and it has taken a certain degree of vulnerability to admit to myself that change needs to happen. This is not easy, because it means I have had to let go of patterns of knowledge I have spent a large amount of time, energy and money acquiring, in order to learn a new pattern that will hopefully redirect me back to where I need to be. 

A great example of this was two seasons ago when I finally started getting dressage lessons. For so long I thought that the knowledge I knew of flatwork was sufficient and so I never grew on it, instead keeping the mindset that what I knew was 'good enough.' After too many mistakes happening in the ring though, I finally admitted that my dressage was a big weakness in my jumping and so I started regular lessons with Philipp Oxenius. The first few lessons were a real eye-opener, as I realized I knew FAR less than I thought I did. But fast forward two years and I am SO thankful that I went back to the beginning because although I had to spend a good amount of time undoing a lot of very bad habits (there is still lots of work to be done), my overall ride and my feel for my horses is so much better than it has ever been.

That is why I am excited to see what the next step in my journey holds for me. Because despite all the expenses, the mistakes, the long hours in the saddle and all the work in between over these last few seasons, I am very grateful for the lessons learnt along the way and I know that each time I set off again, I will end up in a much better place with a much clearer vision of what is ahead.

1 comments on article "In Order To Go Forward, Sometimes You Need To Go Back"

Alicia Nemeschansky

I hit the “rate” button wanting to give this 5 stars but it decided to put a 4.... technology.... anyway, such a great article and applicable to all things in life. Exciting changes ahead :)

2/03/2019 5:46 PM

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